Let me start this post by saying that this entire story comes from Beth, who posted it in the comments over on Michael Ruhlman’s blog. She was watching the same idiotic episode of Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade show on the Food Network, a show that chills even my bones, and I certainly don’t have the time or space to make anything from scratch. Nonetheless, I try my best, and her ridiculous shortcuts and absurd “tablescapes” (barf) really rub me (and, apparently, a lot of other people) the wrong way. Also, I’m incredibly creeped out by how her tablescape, kitchen, clothing, and pots are color-coordinated for every single episode. Seriously. Spend five minutes watching and pay attention to her equippment, her kitchen (down to the wall color), and her shirt. They will all match. Creepy.
Anyway, Beth and I both saw the episode this morning where she shortcuts some pretty tasty recipies from Tyler Florence and Emeril Lagasse, which sent Beth over to the Food Network website to see what people really think of her recipies. And while the recipies are, at best, unoriginal and uninspiring, she does occasionally come up with a good (strong) cocktail. I think I’ll let Beth finish this story herself:
I ended up getting addicted to the user ratings of her recipes- a seriously entertaining way to waste time. From my unscientific sample, it seems like a lot of people either a) hate them or b) think they are too complicated.
But then I found this rating. This lovely, perfect, blessed rating for a peach cocktail that is great because you know this person was so sincere.
The rating was for a cocktail called “Florence Fizzy,” some sort of sparkling peach thing. The title of the rating was called “Different,” and it read as follows:
I’m not a drinker but I decided to try the drink anyway. I mixed it as directed but I found it to be very salty even though I told the butcher to slice the prosecco very thin. Conflicting flavors. Won’t make again.
…………………
D’oh!
Oh dear, you’re certainly not a drinker, are you? Butchers don’t have Prosecco (a WINE), they have prosciutto (a HAM). Oh. My. God. Can you imagine this person going to a butcher, getting super-thin sliced, delicious prosciutto, and then putting it in a PEACH FLAVORED COCKTAIL? Has this person ever had a cocktail in their life? No wonder Americans have such an awful reputation.
To review:
Prosecco:
Prosciutto:
–Sara
